#GoingGill

if you don’t know (you already know), Ben proposed over the weekend and my heart hasn’t stopped exploding with confetti and love since!

the story of our proposal is a little awkward, a little dramatic, and so much like us that I need to share it on my blog where I hope to document our lives forever. and ever. I’m only half sorry, Ben. so, sor.

on Sunday morning we woke up, listened to music, and made a late breakfast. more things happened, but I will spare you that fine kettle of vapid. for now. after breakfast, Ben suggested a bike ride. earlier in the week, when I had ambition, I had found a raved about trail and suggested we try it out. Sunday afternoon? not so much. but, I will only get better at biking on hills if I keep biking on hills (at least that’s what I’m being told…), so we went biking.

after we bike two miles to the trail, we finally get on the trail and it’s going pretty well, but I’m getting hotter and sweatier and a little more annoyed every mile marker we bike by. after seven miles on the trail or 300 miles (depends on who you ask), Ben turned around and said “do you want to keep going or turn around?” to which I responded very calmly with, “let’s turn around.” but then he decides we should keep going a bit. and then I get a little pissed.

why would you even ask me if you wanted to keep going???

anyway, we bike on. and on. until we approach a hill and Ben zooms over it and it takes me five minutes to shift to an easy gear and pedal my little heart out to reach the top. I get to the top and Ben says, “let’s go rest on that bench.”

fine.

we make it to the bench and it is in a beautiful spot. it overlooks a creek, there are trees providing a canopy over us, and the perfect breeze. I dramatically throw myself down on this bench and wipe the sweat from my brow. Ben is facing me and silently (from what he tells me now) gauging my attitude. after a few minutes of talking about the trail and how nice it was I was expecting Ben to get up and motivate us to keep moving, but instead he looked at the creek, and then he looked at me, and said something along the lines of, “Becca, this is water. This is what it’s about.” Then he reminded me that I had given him David Foster Wallace’s “This Is Water” book when we first started seeing each other. In the front cover of the book I had written, “what the hell is water?” Ben continued on with how he had wanted to propose in a spot that was special to us, but he realized that every spot is special because we are together.

at this point he pulls a little box out of his biking bag and all I could say was, “oh my god, on a bike ride? this is happening on a bike ride?” but he kept smiling and talking and telling me that he loves that I continue to bike with him even though it’s challenging and that I am up for trying new things and going on new adventures. he opens the ring box and asks me to marry him, and then I cried some happy tears, not to be confused with the sweat dripping down my face, and said yes. Ben leaned in for a kiss, and because I still hadn’t taken off my helmet, his forehead was met with that and we both laughed. it was perfect.

we sat there for a few more minutes soaking up the moment and Ben told me that the diamond in the center of my ring is from his great-grandma’s ring and that he wanted to use it because I have felt like a part of his family from the beginning. it was such a sweet moment.

then, just like all good things must come to an end (just jokes), we had to bike back.

you guys, it is amazing how much faster I can bike after receiving an engagement ring! I rocked out those miles back into town, mostly because I was composing the best wedding hashtags I could come up and daydreaming about all the things I get to do now that we are engaged. Ben kept saying I was doing so well and all I kept thinking was “oh, you have noooooo idea.” but really, what I was thinking (in addition to the hashtag), was that we were the only people in the world who knew we were engaged. I will remember those special moments between the two of us for the rest of my life. looking back over my shoulder to steal looks at Ben thinking “I am so lucky.”

when we finally got home, after I nearly died biking up the hill of death near our house, and surviving a scrape from my pedal on the back of leg, we toasted with Powerade and reveled in our new engagementness before calling our families and friends to share the news.

we’ve only been engaged about 43ish hours, but I already know we’re really good at it. except for me wearing my ring. yesterday we took it in to make sure it was sized correctly, and because I’m weird, I had to “practice” taking it off before we saw the jeweler so I wouldn’t struggle when we were standing in front of him. needless to say, by the time we got there, my finger was puffy and swollen. and the guy told me that it seems to fit perfectly, and to give it a few more days before we do anything with it.

easier said than done, jeweler man. I am now icing my finger to try to get my ring to slide back on.

most of the time it still feels like I’m dreaming, and I think Ben wishes he was dreaming, since every time he’s around me I have five new questions about wedding details for him. just kidding. maybe.

there really is nothing like those first few minutes/hours/days of being engaged. everything feels indescribably (and wonderfully!) different. I am trying to soak up every moment and call Ben fiancé as many times as I can—shamelessly!

he is the Danny to my Mindy. the maraschino cherry in my dirty Shirley. the first face I want to see every morning I wake up. the love of my life. and I cannot wait to be his Mrs.